What's going to happen next?

Ok, do you guys hate that feeling that you feel like you've ruined someones life, like it sucks because at that certain time you weren't even realizing, what you were doing , all you thought about was wow, you've hurt me so i'll hurt you too . It sucks because when i think about it, i always just say , "how stupid can i get ?" It's been awhile since then ,but yet theres this part that can't let go, this part actually still cares about him, even though its been teared up , even though its been scrached up, & ripped into pieces,it still manages to be there to be part of who i am. i know that i have my faults & i'm someone to be blamed on, but i just dont know what else to do, Every morning & night , i just say " what have i done to deserve all this bullshit" then i think again, and i realize. buuuuut i just want time to go back, & change my mistakes. People telling me to follow my heart, yeah thats fucked because ive been following my heart for the past few years and yet, it always leads me back to where i started, started somewhere i didnt want to end.

Im over it,
Im ready to leave it behind .
infact i am done with it.

But that just leaves me thinking "what's going to happen next."
it's so hard. so hard to explain so hard to understand.


Bullshit ; "arwhyayen"
fmylife.